My cousin Jimmy is 5 years my senior. We are very good friends. Since he went to college, however, we have had few chances to socialise face to face. We often stay in contact by phone.

In summer vacation, Jimmy’s mother, my aunt, reported that her son had got hooked on PC games after he was graduated from uni. According to her, my cousin did not listen to a single word of hers. Her son had never tried to hunt for a job. To play his favourite game, Jimmy had only one meal a day. Therefore, she decided to take her son to see a psychiatrist. She hoped that my cousin could stay with our family for a few days, after the hospital visit, to reflect on his behaviour.

Mother and son went to visit a psychiatrist at the local hospital. Things turned out to be more complex, though. The results showed that Jimmy is 100% normal. In my eyes, he is just as friendly, active and polite. The only difference I observed is that he is a bit shyer and more reticent.

In contrast, my aunt seems abnormal, to be honest. Nervous and upset most of the time, she breaks down a lot, pouring out her sadness and sorrow to us. Her first marriage having failed years ago, she is not satisfied with her second husband. In her opinion, the man does not love the family enough. Therefore, she pins all her hopes on my cousin.

Extremely strict with my cousin, she expected the son to follow all her orders and to meet her demands. Having put up with her for years, Jimmy finally rebelled. He started to ignore his mother’s words and did not talk with her.

In my aunt’s eyes, Jimmy was a big let-down, having fallen way short of her expectations. She attempted to win others’ respect through her son’s success. That drove my cousin nuts. Over the years, no matter how hard Jimmy had tried, the mother was not satisfied. She still wanted more.

At the family conference, however, it was agreed that the person who should have seen the psychiatrist was not her son but her very self. It is no secret that she could not get along with her new husband because she was too tough and domineering.

Why wouldn’t my aunt adapt herself so that she could derive happiness from her very self?