The second time school switched to the remote mode in August 2021 due to Covid, I watched a film at home titled A Father Locked in Time. It struck a chord with me because it evoked vivid memories of my grandad.

Grandpa is a serious man. It is not his style to wear a smile all the time. However, he did beam like a flower when Father took my brother and me on a long trip to visit him in our home village. Having left behind our hometown, we have settled in Hubei. My grandparents still cling to the nest back in the home village in Zhejiang. That is the reason why the only time we see Grandpa and Gran is the Chinese New Year.

Traversing several provinces, the long car ride, which could take over ten hours, never failed to make me tired and moody. The moment I saw Grandpa and Gran standing by the road waiting for us as we were nearing the village, however, the bad feelings evaporated right away. “It is well worth it,” I said to myself.

Grandpa used to live a colourful concrete life. As a result, he never felt bored the way a lot of his peers did. His daily routines included playing chess with his mates, raising all kinds of veg in his garden, and biking along the stream near the village.

Unfortunately, his peaceful life course was derailed a few years ago with an unusual cold. When the cold was gone, Grandad found his legs rebelling. He was scared. As days stretched into weeks, Grandad was losing control of more of his extremities. Grandma ended up caring for him in a wheelchair on her own most of the time, with us absent in Hubei. Grandpa had not been talkative when he was well. With the new immobility setting in, he became even more taciturn.

The worst was yet to come.

Last year we found Grandpa starting to forget things. However hard we tried to help him recall, our efforts were all in vain. The chilling reality dawned on us: Dementia had struck Grandpa.

I am very much afraid that Grandpa might not be able to recognise me one day. He is slipping away from us day by day, yet there is nothing in my power to help him in any way. Since the Covid-19 Pandemic erupted toward the end of 2019, I have not been able to go back to our roots. The only way to have a look at my grandparents is to talk to them on the phone with the cam on. How I wish to meet them in person and give them a tight hug!

The day will come, whether we like it or not, when Grandpa, like the protagonist of the film I watched, falls permanently locked in his own world. It is my dearest wish that Grandpa could live 20 more years. By then, I would have better means and capabilities at my disposal to treat him well.