The Death of a Freshman

 

August 26, 2006, Saturday was a free day for me and the other teachers of English in the grade. Since August 1, we have been giving Senior 3 students extra lessons despite the hot weather.

 

When I was in the classroom on the morning of August 27, I found a boy, Mr. Lu Shigong, was depressed, with his head on the desk, as if he was asleep. It was quite unusual for he was normally an active and enthusiastic learner in my class. I thought that probably he was sick and then asked his deskmate what was the matter.

 

“Sir, nothing is wrong with him. Probably he had a troubled sleep last night.”

 

“Oh, what happened to him?”

 

“Nothing has happened to him. But sir, don’t you know something happened in the school?”

 

At this moment, it occurred to me that something serious must have happened in the school the day before. I was not aware of it because I had not been at work the day before. The conversation went on.

 

“No, I don’t know. Gosh, what happened?”

 

“A student jumped to his death yesterday morning.”

 

Thump! Something heavy fell onto my heart.

 

“Why?”

 

“Sir, we don’t know. We know he was a freshman and that he jumped from the corridor outside his dorm on the fourth floor (British usage here).”

 

“Did he die the moment he hit the ground?” A cruel question, but I had to ask it.

 

“Yes, he did. We didn’t see him jump, but we saw him lying there motionless, with our own eyes.”

 

By now, Mr. Lu Shigong had woken up. I asked him if he was OK. He told me that he was OK and asked me not to worry about him.

 

I bet limited numbers of students saw the dead student. That is why I found the whole affair was covered up so well. I taught in the morning and while I was working in the office in the afternoon, none of my colleagues talked about it. It was obvious that they knew nothing about it. The next day I asked my students in the other class if they knew something serious had happened in the school, their answer was NO. Of course I didn’t tell them the truth.

 

The next day, my colleagues started talking about the incident in the office. I didn’t join them and I said nothing. I just listened in to their chats and this is what I learned from their conversation.

 

The boy came from a poor peasant family in one of the satellite counties. My school enrolls the students from the satellite counties through the high school entrance exam. He was an excellent student. And his score in that exam was very high indeed. And he has got an elder brother currently being a second grader in the school. The family had financial problems, having to support two of their sons in high school. But the school authorities had promised to grant financial assistance to those kids who are from underprivileged families. That is why the teenager had chosen to study in the same school as his elder brother had. I bet his brother did get monetary aid from the school every semester. I know the program though the money granted is not a big sum. But it is better than nothing.

 

The newcomers got enrolled and registered on August 23. Then they were scheduled to do military training for a week. Of course they got settled in their classrooms and their dorms. And they met their head teachers, too. In a dorm there could be students from different family grounds. Some are from well-off families, while others poor families. The student shared the dorm probably with some kids from the city, and he felt the sharp contrast between them and him. The difference made him miserable. The last straw came when, the day before he died, his army officer ordered all the boys to wear a certain kind of shoes for uniformity, which he could not afford. My guess is that he was wearing those homemade shoes. In school, occasionally I still see some country boys and girls wearing homemade shoes. They are not as cool as those brand names like Nike or Adidas, but to be honest they are good, in my opinion. He could not afford the shoes, and on the distressing morning of August 26, when all the students were getting up, he jumped off the building and ended his life. When his body was searched, only a 5 yuan banknote was found in one of his pockets. 5 yuan! How long could you survive in this material and commercial society on that?

 

This is what I have learned so far about the whole affair. The authorities have not come up with an answer. I bet they have some music to face. I am still waiting for their account of the death at the next all staff meeting. Since it is the beginning of the semester, the authorities have tried to cover up the incident and they are successful. Very few people around me know about it.

 

I feel bad about the incident. I know how the boy felt before he died. I came from a poor family as a student and I still remember the shame I felt when I had to wear the homemade cotton-padded overcoat my mom made for me when I was a high school student. Most of my classmates were wearing a ready made overcoat their parents bought for them in the stores. My overcoat looked dumb and stupid. In fact I felt so shameful then that I took it off that winter and got through the freezing weather wearing only my autumn clothes!

 

The gap between the rich and the poor is widening in this country of ours. It is strongly felt in my school. It is a black and white contrast. Some of my students are from rural areas. They wear common clothes. They spend their money sparingly. They work hard. But some do not. Many others come from rich families. They play well, owning gadgets like an MP3 player and having internet friends and doing the so-called cool stuff. Some of these kids are good. But some are not. Some teachers gave them a nickname – New Three Good Students (this is a queer name to a foreign ear, but very Chinese), for they eat well, play well and sleep well in class. You can feel the ridicule there.

 

There is a lot that the government should do concerning the widening gap between the social classes. The general trend is that the living standards have been rising in China year by year, which we are grateful for. On the other hand, social unrest could result from the widening gap should no effective measures be taken by the authorities.

 

In my future blog entries, if possible, I will talk about high school education in China.

 

Boy, may you find your peace in heaven. I remember you.