My daughter Pearl’s first school experience was a nightmare.

About 4, she was enrolled at a kindergarten affiliated to the auto factory where my wife was employed. Exactly speaking, it was more a nursery than a kindergarten. About a dozen preschool kids whose parents worked at the factory attended the place. The teacher was Ms Gao.

At home, Pearl was candid and lively. After some time at the kindergarten, her behaviour started to change. When my family of three bumped into Ms Gao in the neighbourhood, Pearl would cringe. One day when she came back home, we found faeces in her pants. Shocked, we asked her what had happened. According to Pearl, Ms Gao did not allow them to move about. Most of the time, all the kids were rigidly seated on the bench, hands behind back.

One Spring Festival holiday, I took Pearl to the kindergarten grounds where there was a slide. I asked Pearl to go and play on it, but she balked at it, saying that Ms Gao forbade it. I reassured her I would be staying with her, encouraging her to have a go. Only with me by her side, did Pearl find her normal self and have great fun on the facility.

Some time later, I had to work away from my family because my employer was relocated to the city. It was only on the weekend that I could go back and join them. Considering her experiences with Ms Gao, we had Pearl transferred to a kindergarten run by a young woman called Ms Bai. Situated in a back alley, it was one room with a little backyard. In retrospect, Ms Bai was probably not a certified teacher. She operated the care centre at that inconspicuous site, licenceless, in order to make ends meet. Actually, her service lasted no more than three or four years. At the time, there was an acute shortage of childcare facilities and kindergartens keenly felt both in the country and in the city.

Judging from Pearl’s talk and reaction at home, she had a great time with her new mistress. Ms Bai let them go and play in the backyard from time to time. When peaches were in season, the kind woman served the fresh fruit to them. Talking about the teacher, Pearl beamed with joy and pride. It was some distance from our home to Ms Bai’s school, but my daughter insisted that she go there on her own.

One weekend I went back to visit my family. I offered to walk Pearl to her school. Before we could get close to the lane where the school was located, Pearl asked me to turn back. She kept waving goodbye to me, saying repeatedly, “Dad, you go home.” With Pearl toddling in small steps to the school with a little backpack on her back, I found my eyes moistening.

Standing where I was, I saw Pearl turning the corner and heading for the one-room school. After some time, curiosity got the better of me. I proceeded to the school, quietly pushed open the door, and found Pearl standing at her seat talking merrily with her friends. The sole teacher Ms Bai was seated at the front with a sleeping child in her arms. The classroom furniture could not have been simpler, but there was no lack of harmony at the humble place.

About two years later, we moved house. Living conditions were far better in the city. Out of convenience, Pearl was placed in a kindergarten in our very community. The facilities there were first class in town, but Pearl’s experience did not match up to the quality of the hardware. She was far from happy there.

I visited the school once, and felt that Pearl’s confidence was hurt. It was a parent-teacher conference, where the head was monologuing throughout, droning for half an hour about their excellent service and about care and love showered upon the kids. There was no communication whatsoever between teachers and parents. Before the parents were dismissed, Pearl’s class gave a dance performance, during which our girl was standing in the back of the troupe. Pearl’s body language convinced me that something was not right. While moving her arms and legs mechanically to the beats in the herd, she kept rubbing her eyes. She was not the Pearl I was familiar with back at home. What caused the difference?

When it was time for Pearl to start primary school, my wife and I did not feel she was ready mentally or habitually. After comparing notes, we decided that Pearl stay in kindergarten for one more year. Through some connection, Pearl was admitted to a kindergarten in another community. To our relief, this time, Pearl’s experience was way better. Every morning she could not wait to go to school. Back at home in the evening, her talk told us everything. “Ms Zhang the teacher is friendly and my mates are sweet,” Pearl said. Because the school was quite a few blocks from our home, it was arranged that my daughter would stay at the school the whole day. We took her there in the morning and collected her in the afternoon. Pearl had lunch at the school. After lunch, she took a nap in her little bed.

Pearl stayed in the last kindergarten for only one year. When the terms were over, she was in good shape, well prepared for primary school.

One Sunday, my family was shopping at the finest department store in town. At the time Pearl was attending her third kindergarten. On the stairs, we came across a lady. When the lady was out of sight, Pearl said to us in a small voice, proudly, “That was Ms Bai, Dad. We have just run into her on the stairs.”

“Oh, why didn’t you tell us earlier, girl?” I responded with a trace of reproach in my tone.

Pearl is a mousy girl, by nature. Regrettably I missed an opportunity to acknowledge, face to face, Ms Bai’s positive influence on my daughter. Anyway, Pearl’s reaction showed us what place Ms Bai occupied in her heart.