Shengliver’s Note: This entry was first posted back in 2012. A high school senior, Jin Jing, shares her reaction to a death around her and reminisces about a shy sweet primary school classmate.

A freshman in our school jumped off a building. Upon hearing about it, I believed it must be a rumour. Later, however, it turned out to be true. I was shocked. All the memories of death crowded in on me.

When I was in primary school, my knowledge of death was virtually nil. One day a boy called Tom in my class died. The unlucky boy was said to have been hit by a car while crossing the road in front of the school gateway. His mother rushed over to the scene and collapsed over his body, howling. Despite the mother’s dramatic reaction, I was apathetic at the time. The boy had given me a lollipop several days before. Instantly his chubby face—complete with that shy smile—flashed on the screen of my mind. He was a friendly quiet guy.

Back home after I shared the news with Mum, she became sad and her eyes were wet. I was puzzled. “How terrible it is! He departed at such a tender age that his mother must be heart-broken,” sighed my mother. I pretended to be just as sad. However, I still did not believe it was a big deal then. I even thought I would forget all about Tom in less than two weeks.

How wrong I was! In fact, I have remembered it all for 10 years. Even today the boy’s innocent smiles and the sweet candy are still fresh in my mind. The older I get, the more vivid the details.

Very much alive in my mind is the scene where his elder brother came over to collect his books and stationery. The classroom became so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. His brother did not say a word, the atmosphere sombre and unnerving. Even the most fidgety boy in our class stayed still at his desk. Having picked up Tom’s books carefully, the brother used his trembling hands to put back in Tom’s schoolbag the ruler, eraser, pen, pencil and all the other stationery.

You would not believe that two days ago Tom was still there, playing and laughing on the playground just like any one of us. It was traumatising that he should have passed away at such a young age.

Now I would rather the entire thing had been a lie. He just left Shiyan and moved to another city with his family. He is still leading as peaceful a life as us. Who ever can tell me that it was just a lie?

Death is a scary word. I don’t think the girl’s selfish act the other day was a right choice for her. Her sudden departure must have torn a gaping hole in the hearts of the loved ones.

Every time a problem weighs us down threatening to crush us under its feet, we should take a deep breath, grit our teeth and tell ourselves, “Life still goes on.”

There is nothing better than living healthily, happily.