As a child I had no idea what romantic love means. In Grade 7, that kind of feeling surged in me for the first time. It was warm and sweet.

In Grade 7 I thought I fell in love with a girl in my class. It was a love-at-first-sight experience. Then she was much taller than me. Now we are almost the same height.

A few days after I found myself in warmth and sweetness, I learned that another boy in my class loved the girl too. To my surprise, she liked the boy. The discovery left me shocked and sad. After that I tried to forget about it all. As you know, Shengliver, it is very hard to push out of your mind someone you have a crush on. I thought time would cure me of the infatuation.

Life is as strange and interesting as it is. By Grade 9, the girl was virtually off my mind. At the beginning of the new term, however, the seating changed. I ended up seated right in front of the girl in the classroom. Being so physically close to her made me nervous and happy. The warmth and sweetness that I had tried to shed came back stronger and became irrepressible.

The girl did way better than I at the lessons. To catch up, I worked harder. When our seats were next to each other, I did a lot of things for her. The day she was crying after an exam, I felt even sadder. Before her birthday came, I spent the breakfast money I had saved for weeks on a cuddly toy for her. I did not tell my mum about it; neither did I let the girl know about it beforehand.

As time went by, I thought the girl seemed to be feeling what I felt about her. Her grades started to drop a bit. I thought I was to blame for her regress. Therefore, I made an unbelievable decision. I decided to distance myself from her. Her future mattered much more than my love. I wished she could make it to her dream high school.

After my mind was made up, I, with the teacher’s go-ahead, had my seat moved to a place on the other side of the classroom. It was more than enough for me to merely have a glance at her every day. Meanwhile I redoubled my own efforts at my lessons.

In time the girl regained her former status in the exams. She passed the final exam with flying colours. Therefore, she is a student here at YYHS. Although I did not do as well as she in the last exam, I passed it. Here I am in YYHS, too. Without the special feeling towards her in middle school, I do not think I could have made it to the great institute YYHS. My progress in the last exam amazed everyone around as well as me.

She is in Class * and her name is ***. At times I see her on the sports field, in the classroom building or at the residence hall. The very sight of the girl never fails to make my heart miss a bit. It makes my day. I hope she will be as excellent as ever.

This journal entry might be the last one before the class breaks up and I join a new one, Teacher Shengliver. I have kept in my heart for three years what I shared with you today. I have told no one else, not even my parents, about it. Sharing today with you makes me feel relieved. Keeping everything to myself for such a long time might have bust me. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to let my genuine feelings out of the deepest corner of my heart.