I don’t know since when I have been stuck in the present mire.

So hopelessly entangled am I in my schoolwork every day that I owe myself a heavy sleep debt. Almost every night, I have to burn the midnight oil, attempting to clear up a huge backlog of homework. Still many nights see me working up into the wee small hours before giving up the enormous task eventually. Every morning, the first two classes see me dozing off in the classroom. It is more than a struggle to stay alert when the teacher is talking.

It seems as if I were a caged bird, which is manipulated by its keeper. What to eat and when and how to eat it are out of my control. Even shitting time is fixed. I feel tired and desperate. Every morning when it’s time to get up, looking ahead at the heaps of homework that I will be fed for the day makes me feel sick in the gut. But I need to arise. Teachers, homework, a new day and my future, they are all waiting for me.

I always wish to slow down and smell the flowers, but it is next to impossible. In my eyes, it would be a crime to let down my parents and folks who are looking forward to making me a better person. I have no choice but to study and do something that I hate to do.

So, when the alarm rings at 5.45 in the early morning, I grit my teeth and sit up. I have to rise and shine.