I Came Out Stronger

During the months Covid was raging in 2020 for the first time ever, our town was locked down like most other Chinese cities. We were forbidden to go out and socialise. The spring term began at the end of the Chinese New Year holidays. Instead of returning to the campus, students of all levels were ordered by the education authority to stay put and take lessons online.

It was a very difficult time, not only because the medical profession was racing against the clock trying to save lives, but also because a changed lifestyle put a severe mental strain on everyone. Being cooped up in the cramped space of home for months on end hurt, let alone the constant anxiety about getting infected. A lot of guys ended up with psychological problems. Conflict erupted even between family members. My family was no exception.

Student sitting at a desk looking bored during an online math class on laptop

After remote school started, nothing seemed to be running well for me for some time. In despair, I locked my room from inside and stayed all alone with my phone and my desktop PC. I could not have been lonelier, yet I did not feel like talking with anyone, my parents included. I messaged some of my best QQ friends, but it felt as if all of us were drowning in a sinking boat.

My parents attempted to approach me one day. I screamed at them, “Go away! I have grown up. You do not have to control me.” Because of my nasty attitude, they began cooking just for themselves.

Virtual lessons were terribly boring and distractions just a click away. Hopelessly hooked on PC games, I found myself lagging far far behind in my lessons. Finally came a day when my teacher called me up on the phone and gave me a stern lecture about my miserable performance in a test.

One night as I was lying in bed, wide awake, an epiphany hit me. I would have to change my ways if I were to have a better existence in this world. I determined to stay on top by reorganising my life. No one else could possibly help me out. My parents could not; nor could my friends or teachers.

The next morning, no sooner had the set alarm gone off than I shot out of bed. No delay, no procrastination. First of all, I started to learn to cook for myself. My parents had refused to do meals for me since the bitter rebellious retort. Then, I made it a rule not to use the phone while I was taking lessons on the computer. Last, I still played my favourite games, but the gaming time was greatly cut. With the self-discipline came solid improvements. Hence a better sense of control and focus from within. Things picking up, I began to reconcile myself with my parents.

For the last month before we came back to physical school in June 2020, my life at home was in order. I felt I was in charge. The hopelessness that I had suffered earlier during the lockdown was gone. I tried to make up for what I had missed out on academically because of my previous messy lifestyle. Everything was getting back on the right track.

Part of growing up is to do what you hate to do. The key, however, is to take the initiative and be the master of your own life. As long as your way of life is balanced and healthy, you will be heading in a right direction.

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